Updated: Jun 13
Why do we just celebrate the happy memories and bury away the sad ones?
I have been dealing with anxiety & depression since January 2019. I starting going for therapy sessions in February 2019. So technically, February 2020 is my one year anniversary with my therapy as well as with my journey towards self love and appreciation.
Not to brag, but I feel like I have come quite far in this journey.
I have realized that I am much stronger than I perceived myself to be and more importantly, I have realized that there are countless ways to tackle what life throws at you (ways that don't involve sulking on the couch, munching on snacks and watching Netflix). At the risk of sounding too self-conceited, I would proudly say that I love myself and value myself way more than I did a year ago. I still have the worst days and toughest nights, but I suppose, who doesn't.
So here goes my 2 dirhams (because I don't have cents or sense):
I think it's really important to focus on how far you have come, as opposed to what you went through to get here. That's completely contradictory to what the world says right? Everyone always says to focus on the journey and not the destination. That's a load of crap. Sometimes the journey is tough, painful and heartbreaking. So don't focus on the nights that you were sleepless because your anxiety wanted a midnight date with insomnia. Focus on what is surrounding you at the moment, how far you've come and how much further you want to go. Take a moment, just one moment to look back at the rough nights and be thankful that you have progressed. But don't focus on that, please focus on where you want to take your future.
I also think that it's really important to surround yourself with people that make your life easier. I've realized over the past couple of weeks/months/years, time and time again, that having good reliable friends is the biggest blessing one can ask for. If you don't thank God for the precious people in your life that keep you motivated to do better and sane at all times, then shame on you. Honestly. I have been beyond blessed with an amazing support system. Something that I am grateful for every single day. Friends that would drop what they are doing just to hear me rant, friends that would meet me every single day just to make sure we're doing okay, friends that would video chat me daily just to make sure we're still sane, friends that get excited when I have fun news, friends that are truly sad when I have bad news, friends that put an effort to show you "hello, I am here for you" (because actions really do speak much louder than words).
But something I learned recently, is that not all friends show up when you need them to. Which is so wrong.. How can you call yourself a true friend if you're not willing to be there for someone else? We all have stuff going on in our lives. Everyone has bad days. But everyone needs someone to talk to. With friendships, you have to prioritize who's issue is more pressing at the minute and then compromise on the rant of the moment. You talk it out. You don't ignore a friend in need. You just don't. Good friends are so important and I know it is never an outsiders place to say this, but if you feel that the circle you're in will not be there for you whenever you need them, and I mean, WHENEVER, then please re-evaluate the circle. But also like, you do you because I'm just talking about what works for me and it may not necessarily work for you. But just saying, you honestly live a much better life when you know that you can talk to someone.
Also, mini p.s: by friends, I mean any human (or cat) - it could be your parents, siblings, cousins. Just make sure you have someone to talk to because it'll be better.
One thing that bothers me sometimes is when people assume that they can help by saying "don't worry, you'll be fine" and "we won't let anything happen to you". Excuse me sir/ma'am? I also would not let anything bad happen to myself but this is the real world and not a Disney movie, so please take your Prince Charming self out of my face and let me deal. Saying don't worry you'll be fine is different than saying 'hey, talk to me, what's happening?' because one shows that you are hearing what is being said and the other shows that you are actively listening to what is being said. It's not possible to save someone from what they are feeling, no matter what it is. But instead, what you can do, is listen to what they have to say, see if you can help them organize their thoughts if needed, or seek the right help if needed.
Try to figure out what triggers them, and work on a way to make sure that the next time it happens, they are in control and can handle the situation. But please don't straight up ask someone why do you feel like this, what triggers you, because chances are that they don't know what triggers them and that might trigger them even more? If that makes sense? We're all just a bunch of cry babies. #milleniallife
Anyways, enough preaching.
My relationship with my mental health has been a rocky one. We were friends, we got together, and now we're a year into it. We have good days and bad days, but we'll be fine because we understand each other and know when to give each other space or when to overwhelm each other with self-love.
We're supportive, because we need to give whatever we do our best to move forward.
We're appreciative, because we have to be our biggest cheerleader on this journey.
We're hard on ourselves, only because we know we have so much more to grow.
We're kind towards each other, because we know the importance of self-love.
We're upset sometimes, because we know what we went through to get here.
Most importantly, we're happy, because we know we're stronger than we were before.
Happy anniversary Mental Health.