Chapter 18 - Love Is Blind
Updated: Jun 13, 2020
Yes, I'm basic.
Yes, I'm crazy.
Yes, I'm obsessive.
Yes, I'm actually doing this.
Context - I'm talking about the Netflix show, but also how love can be blind in real life.
Haters are going to say it was completely scripted to create content for their shallow audience viewers. And you know what I say? Give me more!
You're telling me that there's a show about a bunch of random people being put together in an 'experiment' where they don't get to see each other but only talk to each other and gauge on their personality and in a matter of a few weeks, they have to decide whether they will get married or not? The desi girl in me is over the moon at the relevance! That is exactly what our life is all about.
Our parents or rishta aunties come up with a boy (in very odd cases, women are given men. But 99.9% of the time you will be given a boy) and you have the chance to maybe talk to him and choose whether you want to get married based on whatever you've spoken to him about. I'm surprised the producer wasn't a rishta aunty who thought she could get away with doing this in the West because 'what a great experiment' and if it would be successful, she could get millennials to do this in the East as well because 'if the West can do it, so can we'.
So I suppose, love is blind right? I think this was proven when the ladies said yes in the pods. You are in love/feeling the connection when you say yes to marry someone, correct? You don't have desi parents pressurizing you into saying yes, so there's no sense of 'force' in this. So basically - based on their interactions with the men, they said yes to the proposals, then got to meet them, and were blown away (maybe?), because love is blind.
All the non-desi pessimists are like 'uh, but this hardly ever happens. How can you fall in love with someone without seeing them. That's such a fake process. Physical attraction is real and is not taken into consideration so what a lame show'. And I say, 'personality over looks' - so, now who's shallow?
Throughout the show, all I kept thinking was "It would be so wicked to meet someone in the pods". Because that's how we get married anyway. You kind of blindly have to go through conversations and trust that they are not lying. Sadly, the real problems only come to surface AFTER you've said yes, because pre-wedding, everyones going to put on a sane and fun front.
Eventually, if you say yes, you got to trust that they didn't lie to you, that they are in it just as much as you and that they are the one for you. If you say no, you got to have that gut feeling of, 'this isn't going to work out' and stick to your gut feeling.
Did we notice how none of the ladies walked away in that initial moment that they saw the person they said yes to? Do we know why that is? Because they built their relationship on the foundation of understanding each others personalities or compatibility (or based off of what their relevant significant other told them).
For those that might say that not all couples ended up together (aka, married), so that means love can be blind but won't last - I have more wasteful insight to share.
(Also lowkey funny I say that because only LIB fan, Afifa, will read this).
Diamond and Carlton didn't work out because Carlton hid information about himself prior to meeting Diamond. He was not honest, therefore Diamond's perception of him was this nice guy that she connected with, not someone who chose not to share an important part of him.
Jessica and Mark didn't work out because Jessica had attachment issues. She was obsessed with a guy that was not hers, kept trying to steal him away from Amber and talk shit about him. She didn't care about the effort Mark was putting in and just wanted Barnett. ALSO - she was 10 years older than Mark, she knew this beforehand and had an issue with it so WHY would she go on with it. Stupid woman. If you talk shit, you will end up alone. LIB Facts.
Kelly and Kenny didn't work out because they were too much of textbook love. Nothing wrong with textbook love, but it gets boring (I would assume).
So in conclusion, I believe that, so long as you're honest in who you portray yourself to be, truthful in your conversations, appreciating the company you're with and are okay to talk about weird stuff - love can be blind, because when you click, you just click.
You don't have to go for looks, it's the heart and personality - when you know, you just know. Stop forcing it if you don't feel that way. It's the personalities that match and the conversations that help you stay sane and happy together*.
*okay, obviously physical attraction matters too and should be taken into consideration. But also if you have a pretty face and an ugly personality, then you're automatically not a pretty person anymore. If you have an average face, but a beautiful personality, you literally shine as bright as the moon. So physical attraction should not be the main factor because looks change overtime but the love and heart stays (if the people want it to).