Chapter 27 - Sometimes
Not all the time, but sometimes.
Sometimes we just need a break.
Not a vacation, we don't want a vacation. We just don't want any responsibility. We want to be able to wake up without any stress. Whether its the stress of work, family, health, friendships or relationships. We just want to live a free life where we're not anxious about the future. Why has life become so uncertain?
Sometimes we just need a break from life.
You know, just not participate at all. Not permanently, just temporarily, but for a long period of time so we can find it in us to self-heal. Heal from all the bad that's going around in the world. Heal from all the bad that's affecting our lives. We just want to be curled up in a room, and not be an adult. No work, no deadlines, no bills, no expenses. Just curl up at home and be. Why are people so against letting other people be?
Sometimes we just need to be left alone.
We're happy talking to selective people. We're happy ignoring 30 messages but being active on our preferred social media platform just to feel like we've done some 'socializing' by retweeting or posting a tweet. That's our form of social distancing when we get in these moods. Don't other people get similar moods?
Sometimes we just need to ride through our moods.
What do you want us to say? Congratulations, you are stable? But for those of us who somewhat aren't, we struggle with keeping up appearances and keeping in touch. We're too busy trying to calm ourselves because we know people will start questioning why we have changed or perhaps an even more dreadful question 'what's wrong'. But we try to cover up our different moods and pretend we're 'normal' (whatever that means). But truth is, most of the time, we just want to sulk and stay curled up and be empty for a couple of days. Why can't people let us be empty?
Sometimes we just need people to understand.
Understand what it's like to go through so many little, yet important things. What it's like to seclude ourselves because we don't have it in us to be the entertainer that we usually are. What it's like to focus on things that will calm us in our own way. What it's like to not prioritize other peoples happiness over yours. What it's like to just be on our own, enjoying our company and doing things as we please, no matter how ridiculous. Can people let us do that without making us feel guilty?
Sometimes we just need to do us.
Forget what people think about you. No one controls you. No one can tell you what to do (except for your parents, please be kind to them). If you want to curl up and be a fry and cry, then go for it. If you want to go out and have some fun, then go for it. If you want to ignore everyone and just have a couple of days/weeks for yourself, then go for it. If you want to go for brunch every single day, then you do you! Lift a burden off your shoulders and live life for yourself. People will keep trying to bring you down if you don't live according to what they think is 'right'. Be happy in the bubble you create for yourself, that's all that matters. If you lose people in the process and end up with 8-10 people, consider it a blessing.
Not all the time, but sometimes you gotta be selfish and live life as you please.