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Chapter 40 - Me over You

Welcome to my personal attack against myself, which turns positive, maybe, but only slightly. If this relates to you, I'm sorry there's only room for one on this sinking ship.


Take a moment.

Inhale for 5 seconds.

Exhale for 5 seconds.

How often do we really take care of ourselves?

Minus the retail therapy, dining, and socializing. How often do we sit back and just take time out for ourselves? Self-care is a form of taking time out for ourselves. Yet it is so underrated.

Is it really underrated, Sara? Everyone always talks about self-care and mental health. Bari ayi underrated.

I stand by what I said - self-care is underrated. People love the IDEA of self-care, people love the vibe that self-care brings, people love to use it in a sentence, but no one really likes practicing it. Practicing self-care means being true to yourself, and it's been years since we've looked at ourselves in the mirror for who we really are. We're so used to doing things our way, and wanting things done our way, but do we ever question why we are the way we are?

I've learned that it's really important to have a healthy relationship with yourself as it produces positive feelings, boosts confidence and self-esteem.

Hasn't happened yet, but I'm on the right path - I hope.

I think we all try to find happiness in each other, or in materialistic things. But we need to focus on finding happiness within ourselves. I truly believe that people who go chasing after happiness are unable to find it within themselves, and honestly speaking - those people aren't the type of people you want to be around. They probably just omit negative vibes. No room for that in 2021. When was the last time you sat by yourself and were happy in your thoughts about yourself? Not thinking about your career, life, relationships. Just thinking about yourself.

My therapist once told me that I needed to be comfortable with myself to be able to battle through my anxiety. I thought she didn't know what she's talking about, because who isn't comfortable with themselves? But if you really think about it, we're not at all comfortable - sitting alone, without our phones, without social media, without anyone around us - just you and your thoughts, no matter how dark it gets. Have you ever just stared at your ceiling, in silence, with no distractions and see where your thoughts take you? How long can you stare at a blank wall for without getting bored or having any negative thoughts? Have you ever been stripped of all technology and just sat in your own company? How does that make you feel?

Whenever we're alone, we find the tendency to text someone, scroll through social media, add things to cart, or even get on a zoom call. We call that our 'self-care' or 'personal therapy'. Again - not a personal attack on anyone else, this is a personal attack on myself. Self-care obviously can be anything that leaves you happier but I am striving for self-care where I am able to spend a couple minutes with myself and be happy that I spent that time without anyone or any distractions. Some of us need to find a way to find happiness without distractions. Some of us need to find a way of truly being happy with ourselves.

Pro-tip that I have learned - I keep telling myself that I am in control of my life and therefore, if I want to feel a feeling in a moment, I will feel it. No remorse. If I'm sad for 10 days straight, it's how I feel, I will not sugarcoat it and make myself feel sadder because society doesn't approve of a person sulking for 10 days. If I'm hyper for 10 days straight, whats up fam, this is now who I am. Be in control of your life. You cannot change so many factors around you. You also cannot change how you feel in certain situations. But you do control whether you let yourself feel what you want to feel, or whether you choose to repress it. Please feel your feelings, whatever they are. Tell yourself that you choose and you are in control and you allow it. Don't listen to society. They don't know what you're going through.

I don't know what this year holds, and I'm not out here making any type of resolutions - but I just hope that I find it in myself to be truly comfortable in my own company, and I wish for the same for you.

Even though life has been manic - let's just take time out for ourselves.

Me > everyone, 2021 energy.


Sara Haseeb


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