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Chapter 52 - I'm only Human

Sometimes I just need to be alone, and that’s only human of me. I probably talk about keeping myself busy in every single blog, and that statement is usually followed with ’I keep busy so I don’t have to face my feelings’. But alone time is needed, for everybody. You don’t necessarily have to be struggling with depression or an illness to notice that there are times when you should be alone. Completely alone. No phones, no TV, no distractions, just you and yourself.

We’re getting too used to sharing our lives non-stop, we’re getting too used to sharing every single thing that has happened through these social apps - it seems like being alone has almost gone out of style. You get shunned for wanting to spend time with yourself as opposed to wanting to talk to someone. Honestly, why are we ashamed for wanting to be alone? Everyone starts questioning if we’re doing okay, start deciphering what could be wrong and so on. In our society or even in this manic world we live in, it gets so easy to be caught up in a cycle of constantly doing things for other people. It could be that the other people are taking care of you and doing things for you - but no one knows you like you do. No one knows how you feel. You may feel better for the time that someones doing something for you, but no one really understands how you feel. So you have to spend that time with yourself, you have to recharge, you have to avoid the risk of burning out - both emotionally and physically.

Sometimes when we fail to give ourself alone time, our brain and body begin to beg for this alone time. When you’ve had a busy day and your partner comes up to you asking questions, your family tries interacting with you, your child starts making noises as they play - when you let go of a big sigh - that sigh is your body’s internal dialogue screaming that you are overdue some ‘me’ time.

A few signs that you probably need to take a break and need some ‘me’ time

  1. Nothing sounds fun anymore

  2. Being an emotional eater or on the contrary not eating enough

  3. Getting overwhelmed by the little things

  4. Snapping at loved ones

  5. Wanting to hide (in the bedroom, bathroom, anywhere)

There could be many more signs, but these are good indicators that you’re probably not taking care of yourself as well as you need to. The next time you feel a little down, don’t try to figure out what’s going so horribly wrong in life (cz lets be real, nothing goes right all the time) - but try to figure out what you’re feeling and notice when you need to take a break.

I hate being alone - yes, I am a hypocrite. The first few days are hard, I find myself in tears because I come to realize all what I had been feeling. But once I spend time with myself, I realize I’m only human, everyone goes through this. But I bottle up everything because in my head, society says you’re supposed to be perfect and not be alone. A couple days after spending time with myself - I realize I shouldn’t have to feel fully depressed because I didn’t spend enough time with myself before. At this point, I realize why being alone is good for you.

While we decide to use the company of others as a distraction to avoid ever facing our less than perfect feelings, we face a problem. The problem with avoiding processing our emotions is that we also avoid healing. We stay stuck, we remain bottled up, and we end up unable to move forward into the life we want to live. Repressing these emotions takes a lot of our energy, leading for us to be tired with no reason.

You know while being with others is fun and stimulating, it’s sometimes easier to relax by yourself. It’s really not just our bodies that need a break, our minds need the break too. Our mind needs some space from our thoughts to help lower stress and anxiety. When you spend time with yourself, you also end up finding and discovering who you are. And honestly, who doesn’t want that?

It’s also really easy to go along with things your family, friends or partner wants to do, or be who they want to be. While this may be even enjoyable - it also means that you are not actually fulfilling your potential. Not really sure if I’m making sense, but only quality time alone can show us who we are on the inside. This quality time alone helps us create a space to learn what we actually like and dislike, what our hopes are, what our strengths are, and more importantly, what our feelings entail.

So remember - it’s only when you feel, you can heal.



Sara Haseeb,


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